I’m not talking candle-wax on the nipples. Necessarily.
(Mom, I hope you are not reading this.)
So you know how I always beg you to tell me your best-kept sex secrets? Well, that’s usually just for personal gain. This time, I want to quote you in my latest piece for SELF! The working title is “Real Women’s Best Sex Tips,” (or some such, because you know, we must distinguish yours from all of those alien sex tips we’re always running).
Anyhow, the key is… your oh-my-god-you-HAVE-to-try-this tip needs to be fresh, fun, somewhat original, not require superhuman strength and/or finances (I’m sure sex in the North Pole is consistently mind-blowing) and ideally, have an immediate payoff.
If you have the guts, comment below. If you’d prefer anonymity, feel free to email me at jenna@jennamccarthy.com. Either way, please include your age/city/state and let me know if you’re cool with using your REAL NAME or would prefer a pseudonym.
I really do love you.
What are you waiting for? Jeez. I said I loved you.
Spill.
I’ll start the ball rolling. So to speak.
I love the product “Honey Dust” From KamaSutra. It’s this powder that comes with a feather duster which you use to apply the dust (organic, I believe, and 100 per cent safe) on any area of your body you wish to smell and taste like honey. Better yet, have someone else use the feather duster.
I heard about this from a friend. Ahem. I don’t have sex, myself, you know. Saving myself for Johnny Depp.
Comment by Kathryn Fox — November 23, 2009 @ 2:35 pm
Swallow. Just do it. Because you know it’ll make his brain melt and damned if that isn’t sexy to have that kind of power over my man!
Comment by Leanne — November 23, 2009 @ 4:14 pm
Okay, FINE. I will tell you mine: Zestra. (Go to zestra-dot-com and check it out.) Seriously, because I write this column, people send me, well pretty much every thing you could possibly think of–and more. It took a while to get around to sampling this one and OHMYGOD, you can bet I was kicking myself for the lost weeks/days/hours. I am SERIOUS. It’s crazy-expensive, the packaging is poorly designed to the point of stupidity (single-serving foil envelopes you have to tear open WITH YOUR TEETH in the heat of the moment–didn’t I abandon condoms for lesser offenses?) and the smell is kind of funky-tire-y-latex-glove-y. Oh yes, it is THAT worth it. I will continue to buy Zestra in bulk for all of eternity.
There. Are you happy, people?
Comment by Jenna — November 23, 2009 @ 6:10 pm
I was about to say “GULP” but didn’t want to be confused with Leanne.
Rocking chairs/Rocking Recliners. Whatever. Seriously. It’s like lazy sex for the both of you and kinda comforting. How easy is that?
How easy am I? Jeeze.
Comment by Mrs. Flinger — November 23, 2009 @ 7:59 pm
what about sex tips NOT to do? Do you need any of those because I’ve got a long list. For example: don’t have sex the same day you just magic creamed away your muffin fluffin. seriously, friction is no friend of magic cream. And don’t wrap your man’s package in fruit roll-up because you thought it would make it taste, well, fruity. that shit is just sticky and takes forever to eat especially when you are trying not to bite!
I could keep going.
but you know if you like your girlie parts as hair-free as the day you were born then Magic Cream really does work. (if you like that sorta thing or more importantly if your man likes that sorta thing.) that counted as a sex tip, right?
Comment by kandis — November 23, 2009 @ 8:16 pm
A beanbag chair makes lovin’ while pregnant so much more comfortable. -I didn’t use the s-word because of your tweet.
- Hollow out a space for your belly, and as long as your doc gives the ok, go for it.
Comment by Sara — November 23, 2009 @ 11:29 pm
oral sex. ok fine, blow jobs. selfless ones. where he doesn’t have to do a damn thing except lay there and be, well…blown. at least, not that particular night. he’ll reciprocate another night.
Comment by melissa — November 23, 2009 @ 11:30 pm
Only for you Blondie –
Flirt with your man — seriouly so…flirt as if there was an actual doubt a to the outcome. Try a little suggestive (ok really dirty), make him blush texting from across the room at a party or at a table with other couples. Trust me — this works! Remember the pen is mightier than the…oh forget it – just go and flirt.
Comment by Julia — November 23, 2009 @ 11:31 pm
I agree with Julia. I’m in a long distance thing and he loves it when I write the most naughty, NAUGHTY texts to him during the day. It’s so effective that he comes all the way across the continent to see me … I’m getting very creative. The last text I sent (about five minutes ago) is going make him NUTS.
Comment by Susie — November 24, 2009 @ 5:12 pm
Ok, after much thought I came up with one – shower sex with the lights off. Seriously, completely black bathroom shower sex awakens all sorts of new sensations – no longer can you focus on the visual, the sense of touch is heightened. Of course, works in the tub too. And, kudos to the women above – I too am a fan of the rocking chair, selfless oral and honey dust. And, never, ever forget the impetuous stop-on-the-side-of-the-road-on-the-way-home-car-sex.
Comment by Vicky — December 1, 2009 @ 2:06 pm