Talk about maddening.
Remember that old Far Side cartoon, the one with the guy talking to his dog? Under the first picture is the caption WHAT YOU SAY TO YOUR DOG, and the copy-bubble coming out of the guy’s mouth reads something like this (and I am totally paraphrasing here so please don’t send me a nasty note with the actual, verbatim copy, even if you happen to be Gary Larson; it’s not that important): “Okay buddy, who’s hungry? You hungry, boy? You want to eat? I got your delicious food right here. That’s right! I’m just going to get you a bowl and serve it right up, and maybe after you eat we’ll go for a nice walk…” Under the next picture, which is identical to the first there’s the caption WHAT YOUR DOG HEARS; that copy-bubble has this inside it: “Blah, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, blah, WALK…” Now I’m not calling my husband a dog exactly, but seriously, we seem to have a hell of a time exchanging even the most basic information on a daily basis. I’ll tell him I’m going somewhere and thirty minutes later he’s frantically calling my cell phone, demanding where I am. (Hello? I just told you, dear.) He’ll swears he told me about his 7 a.m. meeting and I’d bet the dog’s life he didn’t. I’ll excitedly tell him some deliciously juicy bit of gossip and he’ll say, “Oh, I knew that already.” (You did? And you didn’t tell me? What the hell is wrong with you?) Is it just me? Can some men and women effectively communicate? If not, it would make me feel infinitely better if you would please detail the many ways your husband drives you conversationally nuts.
i lovingly call my hubs a “communication retard”. Because he is.
It is so bad that I cannot list for him a few things to pick up at the store. Nope I go to my pantry pull labels off shit and give him the labels so he knows exactly what to buy because he will forget and lists aren’t specific enough.
Also I can tell him a story about anything and when I’m done he will ask a question that had he actually been listening then he would have already known the answer. those are the times I lovingly plan things I could buy with his life insurance money.
My hubs is also very bad about telling me stuff. Like he will suddenly say, “Did you get a gift for the party tomorrow?” And I’m all like what party? then he’s all “I told you about it.” Um yeah no you didn’t. i know you didn’t because I’m the one who remembers shit and you said nothing about a party. Its times like that I pray my children are smarter than him. secretly I even promise my kids tutoring if it appears they are only as smart as him.
Oh and once a friend told me to take my shirt off if i wanted to keep my hubby’s attention. but when i tried that all he heard was boobs, boobs, blah, blah, boobs… It didn’t work so well.
Comment by kandis — September 16, 2009 @ 3:03 pm
I would suggest that “communication” isn’t what’s needed, as it is the transfer of information. Transferring information doesn’t guarantee that it will be received on the other end the way it needs to be. For couples to “communicate”, it takes active listening…
Moreover, men are famous/infamous for not listening effectively, instead taking [what they perceive to be] the important bits and pieces of a conversation and then shelving/dismissing/internalizing it. Doesn’t make for a true exchange of information.
Comment by Charles Orlando — September 16, 2009 @ 4:03 pm
You’re married to a Canadian! He should be doing better than the guys raised below the boarder.
Seriously though, men and women have very different brains and live in two very different worlds. If we — the verbal gender who runs on estrogen — can remember that they — the hunky gender who runs on beer — are meant to compliment our skills not replace our skills, we’ll do a whole lot better. Does he, at least, take out the trash?
Comment by Dr. Wendy Walsh — September 16, 2009 @ 4:32 pm