Thanks for pissing on my parade.
I found out this morning that my TEDxAmericanRiviera talk made the TED.com home page!
At the risk of tooting my own horn, that is, like, huge.
The 1,050 videos on that site have been viewed five hundred million times. Being selected to be there–no less on the home page–is something people spend their entire lives dreaming about. I used to be one of them.
By 9:00 this morning, my little talk had more than 30,000 views. It also had a dozen or so comments–many of them nasty, hateful and most of all, hurtful. One guy said my talk was “fully based in anger to some past marriage” (It was?) and “more like a pathetic confession into a psychologist session”. (I apologize for his shitty grammar.) Another gal called me, personally, “incredibly reductionist” (if you know what that means, please enlighten me! Wait, does it mean stupid?), and criticized me for “not exploring the patriarchal belief that men should be more successful than their wives”. (I’d like her to find a nice stick and explore her asshole with it.)
I realize that unhappy folks are far more likely to feel the need to make their opinions heard. And as of this writing, the positive response far outweighs the negative.
But man, those ugly comments still sting.
I was asked to deliver a funny, thoughtful talk. I tried my best to do that. Do the haters know how fucking hard it is to get up on a stage, for 12 solid minutes, and speak in front of a large crowd? Could they tell that sweat was dripping down my dress and my lips were shaking and my heart was beating so hard in my ears that I couldn’t even hear the audience applause? Have they ever once put themselves up on stage or out in the world and held their collective breath waiting for the inevitable chorus of criticism?
I doubt it.
Anyway, here’s the video. If you don’t hate it, would you mind terribly leaving a nice comment? I could use a few more of those.
Happy Valentine’s Day, you guys!
XOXO
p.s. I’ll bet that bitch Debra is dancing on her coffee table right now.
Personally, I LOVED your video, LOVE your book, and think you are pretty bitchin’ in general. I will never understand why people put so much time and effort into writing mean and hateful things. Maybe they weren’t hugged enough in their childhood or something? Or maybe, just maybe, the don’t have a sense of humor or were never taught what sarcasm is. Just a thought.
Comment by Amanda — February 14, 2012 @ 3:05 pm
“Unhappy folks are far more likely to feel the need to make their opinions heard. And as of this writing, the positive response far outweighs the negative.”
Ayuh and also projecting their unhappiness onto other people.
Screw ‘em. I think you ROCK!
Comment by Jackee — February 14, 2012 @ 3:05 pm
You know what they say on Pinterest? Haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna potate.
My mama taught me if I had nothing nice to say to shut my yappity trap. It does take courage to put yourself out there—in writing, on stage—and 12 minutes is a damn long time to talk, never mind be funny. Have you ever heard that saying–I wish I could remember who said it—the funniest person in the room is often the smartest person in the room?
The haters…are not the smartest peeps in the room. And people who waste their time being ugly on the internet are cowards.I wonder if they’d say it to your face. You know?
It’s cliche but true–take it with a grain of salt…on your margarita!
Comment by Muffintopmommy — February 14, 2012 @ 3:31 pm
You KNOW I’m cheering for you when I call your husband some nice hunk of man! I do wish that he’d take his shirt off more often and maybe clean that side window a little better. It’d be easier to oogle him while he’s pushing that swifer around!
(true story)
You are loved. Maybe those people are the ones that the judge ordered the husband to take the wife out to dinner to the Red Lobster.
Comment by AB — February 14, 2012 @ 3:36 pm
I’m an actually bit of a tedtalk junkie and I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed yours.
This is my first visit to your blog (which I looked up because I liked your ted talk) and to hell with the haters. It’s so much easier to poke holes in other’s efforts then get your ass on the stage and put yourself on the line.
Happy Valentine’s day. Now I’m off to bake something high in calories to fatten up my annoying slim husband.
Comment by Kim — February 14, 2012 @ 3:38 pm
Personally, I loved your TEDtalk! You captured real-life and threw it in everyone’s faces with style, wit and humor.
Comment by Kimberly — February 14, 2012 @ 3:44 pm
No, people NEVER EVER take into consideration the amount of work and courage it takes to do something. It’s too easy for them to put something down because they are smart/ballsy/important enough to do it themselves, so they feel the need to put everyone who is, down. You are amazing. Fuck those guys, Haters gon’ hate. You rule!
Comment by Katie — February 14, 2012 @ 4:09 pm
Awesome Talk… I have to say that I am grateful for the haters… They make so much noise trying to spread what is ignorance, disguised in their minds as brilliant insight,that I usually get many additional hits on comments, blogs, etc. I am sure they have brought many other people to your talk and given you many more fans.
I loved the talk, now I love your facebook page, and I look forward to reading more of your work. You delivered an excellent talk with a perfect balance of humor (really awesome humor by the way) and fact to make the talk interesting and informative from both view points. You have a beautiful way of blending your heart and mind to present a personal touch.
I for one am a fan. Keep up the great work.
Kenny Brixey
Comment by Kenny Brixey — February 14, 2012 @ 4:34 pm
LOVE IT!!!
Comment by Vanessa — February 14, 2012 @ 4:36 pm
from most of the comments its obvious they didn’t watch the video. its part of a trend of people just down-rating tedxwomen.
Comment by Joseph — February 14, 2012 @ 4:43 pm
Sweetie, I loved it, too! Not only did you rock the speech, but you ROCKED that dress!
This guy thought you were, and still are, pretty fucking awesome. See you in the bar.
Comment by This Guy — February 14, 2012 @ 4:56 pm
I emailed this to you this morning before I even knew you were on the Ted Homae page…\It was so fun chatting with you both at the Tedx talks and Jenna you rocked it up there on stage! What a refreshing breath of air after all the scientific and other interesting, but very serious topics! You cracked me up! I can’t wait to read your newest book and now that Wyatt is sleeping a bit more, I can actually mean it when I say I have started to read books again;)\
Oh and all the Negative Nancy’s are just complaining because you looked so amazing on stage in that dress, have a hot and awesome husband and are a published author and a comedienne! Rock on sista!
Comment by Elizabeth Wagner — February 14, 2012 @ 5:55 pm
You rock Jenna! F*** them haters. They are just jealous of your success’, and your marriage!
oh and my favorite comment ever!!: I’d like her to find a nice stick and explore her asshole with it. I busted out laughing!! We love you Jenna!
Comment by Janice — February 14, 2012 @ 6:17 pm
proverbs 14:4 “Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox.” even the bible knows that to make some money you gots to deal with some shit. make your money, i loved the talk. I’m going to go do some dishes and get some.
Comment by Ben MacLeay — February 14, 2012 @ 6:56 pm
Jenna, you are smart, gorgeous, funny, delightful, truthful, you are who you are. I happen to really dig you. These people drive me insane. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph in a small canoe… REALLY PEOPLE!. If you don’t like something don’t listen, watch, smoke, drink, snort, ride, buy, sell, eat, drink, read, it and let the rest of us enjoy it. Please don’t change. We have enough Debra’s in this world.
Nana Vicky
Comment by Vicky — February 14, 2012 @ 8:41 pm
Ignore the trolls. I don’t know why hiding behind screen names is license to trash on everyone so we can feel better about ourselves but suffice it to say I doubt any of your commenters could do a TED talk themselves. Not with the eight hours of Internet trolling taking up their day.
Comment by Jazmin — February 14, 2012 @ 9:05 pm
Over 82,000 hits already – nay sayers, good sayers – does it really matter? The topic in and of its self is going to get you both sides. Congratulations, its awesome for anyone who gets to the front page of TED!
Comment by Alex — February 14, 2012 @ 9:44 pm
Haters tend to go the extra mile to post. Anger drives more action than satisfaction. Enjoy the ride because public speaking is infectious, hope you caught the bug.
Comment by Chris Simon — February 14, 2012 @ 11:42 pm
I love your book and I sent a copy to my sis in law too. You have the right attitude about marriage and I wish more people would suck it up and work on the relationship they have rather than bail at the first fling of the ice cubes. You could always be married to someone worse than who you have!
I hope my sis in law comes to that realization.
Comment by Gail — February 15, 2012 @ 2:04 am
You totally made my Valentine’s day (which my husband is officially exempted from because it’s only two days after my birthday and there’s only so much romanticism you can expect from a guy and which I am boycotting in true German humourless fashion because it’s this imported totally commercial American thing). I knew we were doing something right but I’ve never heard it spelled out so nicely.
I’d never heard of you (or the other McCarthy) before but I’ll get hold of your book (and maybe even of this magic potion you’re promoting if they sell it in Germany).
Comment by Ilka — February 15, 2012 @ 4:44 am
Girl, I thought it was great- and I’m totally reblogging it to give you even more Tedx love! I just conquered my fear of doing a video interview online- so I know EXACTLY how you feel. (For some reason, presenting in person for me is not as scary as a video interview- weird.) Haters gonna hate. When you reach a certain level of visibility, you have to take it ALL with a grain of salt- that’s part of being famous, woman! Welcome to fame.
Comment by Anne — February 15, 2012 @ 8:07 am
So proud of all your accomplishments – you deserve all your successes because you work very hard and are extremely courageous to put it all out there. Of course there are going to be people who disagree. That’s what makes life interesting, right? If we all had the same tastes it would be a dull, dull world. I am sure there are things you and I disagree on, and I still absolutely adore you, know you are a good person and cherish our friendship. Most of all I appreciate your work because it is insightful and thought provoking. And I am sure that is what motivated you to do it – to make people think! Sorry that there are people who feel the need to express their negative thoughts at your expense. But that’s what your writing should do. Think about all the different opinions that flow from the true greats (Ayn Rand, CS Lewis, even Mark Twain). You are in good company my friend!
Comment by Vicky — February 15, 2012 @ 3:09 pm
I loved your TED talk! I also looked up your blog because I liked it so much! Very funny and lighthearted – keep doing what you’re doing!
Comment by Claire — February 15, 2012 @ 9:54 pm
Haters gonna hate. The bigger you get the bigger your gravity well of hate gets, thus you get more hate.
Getting on TED is fantasic!
Comment by Athol Kay: Married Man Sex Life — February 16, 2012 @ 8:25 am
Really enjoyed your TEDx show, my husband and I thought you were right on the money. Thanks for the many laughs.
Comment by Lilax — February 16, 2012 @ 12:53 pm
You ARE courageous and admiration-worthy for getting up in front of the TED crowd and sharing your experience. BRAVO to you!
As a newlywed, I enjoyed your funny anecdotes and how you intertwined them with interesting stats. Sure, no one wants to be boiled down to a statistic, so I appreciate your ironic attitude towards them. And it’s good to know there’s more of an 8-year itch (guess the “7-year itch” could be when the rash starts?) but with the right outlook, marriage can survive that and more. I imagine your lighthearted humor goes a long way in making you and your husband happy. Thank you for sharing what you did and in such an honest and funny way.
Comment by Becca — February 16, 2012 @ 5:53 pm
I enjoyed your TED talk very much even though another marriage is the last thing on my mind. It was fun to watch and you’re a pleasure to look at. Thanks. Never mind those “intilectuals” (sic) – they always take themselves too seriously.
Comment by Ivan — February 16, 2012 @ 10:33 pm
Why are negative people so noisy? Local paper’s letters page is full of them, and usually the same ones.
Your talk and the promo on your website cheered me up no end; which ticked the box for one of my three things today! (ref: Shawn’s TED .. http://tinyurl.com/772s6qw)
Now I know I’m gonna have to start dating supermodels. Damn
Comment by Ben — February 17, 2012 @ 5:40 am
I watched your talk three times and shared it with friends and my wife. We all thought it was witty, delivered with perfect timing, and was hilarious. Keep up the good work, and stay the hell away from the Oscar! Your Ted talk was terrific!
so man of your points were right on (30 years married so far…)
Comment by Marsh — February 19, 2012 @ 2:03 am
I’m not a hater.
My wife encouraged me to view your talk and I enjoyed it very much!
I also really liked your dress and boots, they look sharp on you. I’m buying my wife a copy today.
Your observation on “haters” being unhappy people, compelled to expound to their shallow opinions on the internet [SIC] is completely dead on. Thanks.
I only need to point out that I am not one (a hater), my opinion (about your outfit) is right on. You looked and sounded marvelous.
Comment by Ray — February 19, 2012 @ 12:58 pm
Totally enjoyed your talk. So much so, that I came to your site and stayed a while. I will probably even buy your book and send it to my about to be married daughter.
Take the nasty comments and emails as a sign that you have arrived, pour a glass of wine, sit back and relax in the glow of your accomplishments. And please, keep writing.
Cheers,
Comment by Anne — February 19, 2012 @ 1:07 pm
I loved your talk on TED, just watched it and smiled as I recognised many points you made. I just got married, and living in Sweden it’s not very modern to say you believe in marriage. It’s nice to hear someone stand up for marriage as an institution and point out the benefits that you so clearly feel once you got married. Thanks again! Xx
Comment by Elisabeth Williams — February 22, 2012 @ 7:31 pm
Just wanted to mention that your TED talk is also available as a video podcast download on iTunes.
Comment by facebookie — February 23, 2012 @ 8:14 pm
Hi Jenna
As above, i thought your talk was great – thanks.
Comment by Jon — February 24, 2012 @ 9:12 am
I think you are brilliant! Ignore the haters…
Comment by Hippittee — February 27, 2012 @ 2:41 pm
Well, a journalist pal posted the TED just now, and I liked it– and you– enough to find you here, and it makes me sad that you were hurt. I hope you got past that, and just keep on keepin’ on ’cause you deserve to be seen and heard! Funny, sexy and smart is a good way to go through life.
Comment by prufrock — February 27, 2012 @ 5:44 pm
I loved your TED video! I’m getting married in July, and it made me even more exicted to tie the knot! Please ignore the nasty comments b/c your talk was great!
Comment by MaryY — March 2, 2012 @ 12:37 pm
Lucky husband, lucky children! They live with a very intelligent, smart, beautiful, sexy woman who can talk about marriage with sense of humor and at the same time underline its inner hidden beauty. ciao
Comment by Zorro 70 — March 12, 2012 @ 2:57 pm
All these haters will keep hating not because of what you do and say, but because you are who they wish they could be. Always funny to see how the regular folks will react to those in the limelight.
keep rockin and let the haters keep hating.
Comment by Bryce Angell — April 15, 2012 @ 9:35 pm