Woman Getting Botox Injection

Woman Getting Botox Injection

Aging Gracefully and Other Big Fat Lies

(How to Turn Getting Older into Getting Better)

“Age is an issue of mind over matter,” Mark Twain said. “If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Makes a nice wall plaque, but when we live in a time—and a society—that values youth and beauty above things like wisdom, kindness, compassion and experience, how do we learn to love (or at least make peace with) our ailing, failing bodies and ever-growing jowls? This lively and informative chat will convince even the most skeptical of audiences that getting older isn’t so bad—especially when you consider the alternative. (Warning: You may leave this chat with more laugh lines than you came with.)

  •         How to avoid middle-age spread like the wretched plague that it is
  •         Keeping the spark in your relationship despite the fact that your partner has seen you naked on possibly thousands of occasions and knows all of your tricks
  •         Grasping the concept of “simplifying” so that maybe, just maybe, you won’t die a fiery hoarder’s death
  •         The knife-free secret to looking ten years younger
  •         Dressing your age: The one thing you need to know if you (like me) are going to continue to refuse to do it
  •         The science behind why you can never remember what the hell you came in here for (the good news: it’s NOT YOUR FAULT)
  •         How celebrities like Demi Moore and Heidi Montag are worse for your self-esteem than that god-awful magnifying mirror in your bathroom
  •         What a midlife crisis really is (a grown-up temper tantrum) and how to stave off an impending one
  •         Abject poverty, bunny boilers and other reasons never to have a midlife extramarital affair
  •         Plenty more!