BROADVILLE, MD – When Carolyn and Richard Little of Broadville, MD, finally saved enough money to buy a 47” Sony flat screen TV, you’d think they would have rushed to put it to good use. Instead, it sat in the garage for three months before they could agree on where they would hang it.
“Richard wanted to put it in the bedroom,” Carolyn explained with disgust. “Can you imagine? Not only would that have looked awful, there’s no way I’m falling asleep to SportsCenter every flipping night.” The couple ultimately decided they would hang it in their living room.
“Fine, I caved,” Richard said. “I just wanted to watch that TV. We sold our old Zenith to get the last 25 bucks for it, so I’ve been out of the loop for weeks. I don’t even know who’s in the playoffs. Don’t tell me, either. My buddy Kyle is recording the entire season for me.”
After a lengthy debate over best hanging practices, Richard installed the wall-mount swing arm (sold separately) without reading the directions.
“I told him at least 352 times he was doing it wrong, but do you think he listens to me?” Carolyn demanded. The Littles weren’t even halfway through the season’s first episode of Girls when the $900 TV came crashing down, shattering Carolyn’s priceless Hummel collection and denting the Pottery Barn media cabinet she’d recently scored for only $200 on Craigslist.
Shortly after Richard cleaned up the god-awful mess, Carolyn insists that her husband told her—and we’re quoting her here—“Carolyn, I was wrong.” But now, only three weeks after the horrific accident, Richard claims that’s not what he said at all.
“What I said was ‘Carolyn, you were right,’” Richard explained. “She keeps saying that I said I was wrong, but I didn’t. I said she was right. There’s a big difference. And it’s not like saying she was right means I was wrong or anything.”
“Yes, Richard, it does,” Carolyn fumed. “That’s exactly what it means.” Carolyn says from now on, she will be recording all of her conversations with her husband as evidence in future arguments. At press time, the Littles did agree on one thing: They had no idea where the hell they’d ever get another $900 to replace the broken unit.
*it’s not just me, is it?